I wish I could just turn off that voice in my head that tells me “Maybe you could have a chance with him. Just wait. He’s worth it”

Because every time these hopes get crushed, my heart shatters into a thousand pieces.
Over and over again.

I love you and I hate it

No matter how hard I try to bury the feelings I have for you, I end up wanting you more. I crave for you, but I control myself. I need you, but I distance myself. I still have feelings for you but to entertain and make it grow again is the last thing I want to do. Because I hate loving you. It’s either we end up getting hurt or we get things messed up. I hate the fact that I can’t erase this feelings I have for you, because even years from now, I know I will still love you. You will always have a spot in my heart, no matter what.

He may love you. He probably does. He probably thinks about you all the time. But that isn’t what matters. What matters is what he’s doing about it, and what he’s doing about it is nothing. And if he’s doing nothing, you most certainly shouldn’t do anything. You need someone who goes out of their way to make it obvious that they want you in their life.

YOU DESERVE BETTER.

And I learned ‘You deserve better’
was sometimes no more

than a synonym for ‘I don’t want to hurt you,

and I want you to be happy,

but I don’t love you anymore.