​Lets talk about how hard it is to open up to someone about being sad for no reason. Lets talk about how hard it is to explain to your friends and family that you have this heavy feeling in your chest for no reason. Lets talk about how hard it is to understand why you’re having a panic attack while just taking a walk back home. Lets talk about how hard it is to understand your own self and how scary it is to feel like the whole world is falling on your shoulders and you have no idea why .

The hardest part was to stop fighting… to stop trying to glue the broken pieces back together and just walk away. I mean, how do you just let go of someone you spent so long desperately holding on to?

​ “

Wasn’t it nice?“ she said into the silence. “To feel wanted, even if it was only for a little while?“

“And if it wasn’t real?” came the voice critically, scrutinising her.

She squeezed her eyes shut and thought for a moment. “It was nice,” she repeated, “even if it wasn’t real.”

 

What do you say when you’re not enough to make someone stay? What do you do when you meet the love of your life and realize it’s all about timing? How do you accept that no matter how perfect you are for each other, circumstances get in the way? How do you compete with that kind of fate?

Sometimes,
all you can do
is lie in bed,
and hope
to fall asleep
before
you fall apart.

If you think you could possibly understand the overwhelming pain, heartbreak, sorrow, loneliness and hopelessness that I’m going through. Think again

heartbreak

All i ever hear is stories of once broken hearted people who are stronger ,& wiser now . I am waiting for this to happen to me . I am waiting to no longer be angry & hurt . I am waiting to understand . Yes , dont get me wrong i’ve changed because of you. Because of the lessons you taught me but i’m not sure those are the lessons i was intended to learn . To be heartless , and show no emotions is all you taught me. To fear and run , to leave others when i think they care about me to aviod them getting the chance to hurt me . To leave if i feel like im getting attached .I learned to never respect anyones feelings because i once loved hard and true & my feelings were not respected one bit . & i’ll probably never admit this out loud but i dont like who im becoming though i pretend to . I am becoming exactly what ruined me. A monster . Because its been a while , and im still not healed yet . Getting ripped to shreds never empowered me though i may act like it did . That only happens in movies , but in real life theres no happy ending .. at least not for me.

This goes out to all the people who have been broken but have been strong enough to let go.

For all the people who have been hurt so badly that they felt they could never love again, but kept their head up.
For those who feel like going back to their old lover would put all the pieces back where it belong, but accept the cold harsh truth instead.
For the people that learn from their mistakes and never stop moving forward, even when they take two steps back.
For the people that wish loneliness wasn’t a part of them, but put up with it anyhow.
For the people that are okay with taking up all the room in the bet, even if it feels a little empty.
For the people who wake up in the morning with no missed calls, but smile anyway.
For the people that periodically miss the past, but are so much excited for the future.
For the people that have wounds that are still healing.
For the people that are so much tied to their past relationship, but break their chains to start fresh.
For the people that want to look back so badly, but focus on the road ahead.
For the people that pick up the phone so tempted to call, but kept their dignity intact instead.
For the people that never wanted to let go, but had to.
For the people that still believe in love even after all of the hurt their heart have endured.
For all the people that gave up not because they are weak, but because most times, its better to let go.
We’ll get our happy ending someday.

One thing I think about often is

how many people will be affected if I were gone tomorrow. how many people would actually care. some days, and i’ll admit today, i think, probably no one would. that i’m a bit of a shit person. too selfish and self-absorbed to give a damn about other people, so how could anyone ever give a damn about me? and that’s one reason why i hate letting people into my life. i end up hugely disappointing them. today i feel a bit lonely because of these thoughts. the truth of the matter is, i am not gone. i am still here. heart beating and breathing deeply. i am alive. and i am counting on the sun shining tomorrow. i cant dwell on this darkness anymore.

Babe,

A boy told me he loved me today and I wanted to cry because it wasn’t you.