I’m lost. I get slightly jealous of other people’s happiness and I sometimes wonder what I did to the world to not deserve the kind of love they experience. And each time I almost get it, it slips away from my fingers. And I’m tired of that.
Month: December 2014
I won’t beg someone to love me. I learned long ago that there is no use in hopeless pleas of trying to make someone stay. I am too good to chase someone who does not know my worth and I am too wild to keep waiting for someone who doesn’t acknowledge my value. I want to be loved unconditionally. I shouldn’t have to fight so hard for it. I do not have the time to prove to someone that I am worth it. I shouldn’t have to prove any of that; I am worth more than that.
you will miss him
You will miss him no matter
how nicely or how badly he
treated you and no matter
how long or how little you
had him you will miss
him and you will want him
to be the one that comforts
you and you will want to know
why he did this to you and you
will scream at the world and be
angry even at the flowers that
grow from the soil of the earth
and you will collapse on the floor
like a leaf falling from its tree and
you will feel lost like a tourist in a
foreign city and you will feel so
numb that you will have to check
if your heart is even beating and
I am not going to sugarcoat it for
you and I am not going to tell you
that he will come back and lift you
out of your grave because the truth
is you will have to stitch your body
back together and you will have
to be the one that cleans the
waterfall of tears that have
splashed your cheeks and no
matter how much you wish
for him to come back you will
have to learn that most stars
are already dead in light-years
and you have to be the one
that fixes your own gears of
your contraption because
you are the only one that can
swim when you are drowning
in your own blood.
I knew it wasn’t enough but I loved him anyway.
One day you’re gonna want her. That girl that knew she wasn’t perfect, but tried to be for you. That girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you, and loving you was the only way she could. The girl who sees your flaws, but values them as much as your strengths. That girl who still can’t bring herself to hate you, even though sometimes you probably deserve it. The girl that should have you, but doesn’t.
You owe yourself the love that you so freely give to other people.
All I really want is to be held.
Just held.
To be able to curl into someone else, and feel them holding me, and just to rest in their arms. To hear their heartbeat through their shoulder, to feel their chest rise under my cheek. To have them stroke my hair and trace patterns on my skin and press kisses to my forehead when they think I’m asleep.
That’s all I really want.
I’m in love with you..
Love is when you cry, but you still want him.
It’s when he ignores you, and you still can’t stop thinking about him.
It’s when he loves another girl, but you still smile and say you’re happy for him.
Love Is when you want to let him go, but no matter what: that boy is the only thing on your mind.
424.8 km, 263.96 miles away from you... 